Today my thoughts are on Africa. South Africa that is. It has been about a year and a half since I went on a mission trip there. It was an amazing "high" spiritual time for me. When I returned, it was hard for me to see the things (even the church work I did) as important when considering the work of the missionaries that live there year round. I know that we can be/are missionaries wherever we are geographically or otherwise. But, I found it so much easier to be focused on sharing the love of my Savior when that was my only goal...money issues and that sort of thing never crossed my mind. And oddly enough, though I can become terribly homesick and anxious in situations away from my normal surroundings...I was never really homesick. I missed my family and friends but I really just wanted them to be there to experience what I was experiencing.

Now a year and a half later, I feel like many of us on the trip were attacked by Satan. I lost my job and then my father passed away unexpectedly. Allison's mom's cancer came back and she passed away a few months ago. At least one other team member has experienced a traumatic death in the family and two of our team mates have stopped coming to church regularly. For a nine member mission team, that is a lot of big circumstances to accumulate in a year and a half. Though some may view this as judgement on others, it isn't. I simply see it as evidence of an attack, and I pray that we will all find ourselves turning back to the One who allowed us to serve Him in such a neat way in South Africa.

I think this is on my heart for a few reasons. First, I feel like I am called to go back at some point to continue working with the people there and with the missionary family we worked along side. I don't know how that is to play out, as I have only been working in my current job for a year and have limited days available to take off. I am also trying to be a better financial steward, but I know that God has a plan and will work it all out.

Second, with the holiday season approaching I think about what it would be like to be in another country on another continent from my loved ones. I know that the Yngsdal family must long for their family and friends back home. Which makes me want to do anything and everything I can for them and for other missionaries who have given up such valuable time with friends and family. So my commitment is to support them through the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering that is taken up in Southern Baptist churches through the holiday season.

Third, I feel stir-crazy some times in my work knowing that what I do day in and day out has such little importance in the big picture. I just want to be used by God and yet be content with where I am until He leads me somewhere new.